This ad is from a FB page dedicated to rentals in the Bonneville Alberta area, do you have a best/worst roommate story? Link at the bottom to the FB page :)..
OFFERING: Best Roommate of ALL Time Services.
Have you been thinking about renting out a room to help cover your bills, but don’t wanna live with some boring stranger? Ooo buddy I’m your guy.
Found a really cool place but can’t afford it on your own? Ooo buddy I’m your guy.
Just wanna fulfill your life long dream of being roommates with some random trucker from Rocky Mountain House? Ooo buddy I’m your guy.
I’m 32 years old so I’m really versatile as a roommate offering services for younger people, as well as older people, couples, or individuals.
Standard roommate services:
I don’t bring any stuff you have to find room for or don’t want in the house. I live in Rocky and just work in Bonnyville so I’ll only be bringing the basic things I need.
I am only in Bonnyville for 3 weeks of the month and I work every day that I’m here. That’s right you get a whole week every month all to yourself.
Do you like to golf and fish? Ooo buddy I’m your guy. I will go fishing and golfing with you and say things like “man you sure are a good golfer” or “man you sure know a lot about fishing.”
Do you want to go to the gym but don’t wanna go alone or don’t know what you’re doing? Ooo buddy I’m your guy. I will go to the gym with you and whip you into shape. You’ll be turning heads at Moose Lake in no time.
Do you like food but can’t cook worth a shit or hate cooking for yourself? Buddy. I’m. Your. Guy. I’m an excellent cook and multiple nights a week I’ll whip us up some dandy meals and even teach you how.
Certified best steak in the world(references available upon request), best soups in the world, and self proclaimed casserole king. Let’s face it we all love casseroles and don’t eat them enough.
I’m pretty handy so if shit breaks around the house, good chance I can fix it.
Worried about bringing a new girlfriend/boyfriend home when you’re trying to impress them? Never fear I’ll tell them about the time you saved my life while we were climbing The Matterhorn.
THATS RIGHT I WILL LIE TO YOUR LOVE INTEREST FOR YOU!!
Young gun package:
Do you have a dirt bike???
Well I don’t but with me as your roommate every Monday will be Motto Monday where we spend an hour and 23 minutes standing around your dirt bike crackin cold ones talking about how sweet it is. You can tell me how much you know about dirt bikes, and I’ll say things like “man, you sure know a lot about dirt bikes!”
Got a souped up diesel coal roller?
I don’t but with me as your roommate at least twice a week I will go for rides with you and say things like “man this is the fastest most coal rollinest coal roller I ever did ride in.”
Do you do yoga? Well YOGAnna be on your own on that one.
Never had much of a father figure growing up? At least 3 times a week I will embarrass you in front of your friends.
I’ll tell awesome dad jokes like “Lakeland? Boy if it don’t stop raining soon it’s gonna be Oceanland”
You’ll roll your eyes
I’ll feel clever
We will cherish these moments.
Wanna do karate in the garage???
Pre Cellphone Era Services:
Kids grown and gone and you miss having them around? Twice a week I’ll let you tell me to shut up and go to my room and I’ll stomp down the hall and go to bed. (Door slamming can be included on request)
Wanna tell me stories about “back in my day”? Well you’re in luck! I can’t hear worth a shit and you might have to tell me the story twice! Rest assured though my eyes are keen and I’ll spot any lurking lurkers lurking about the property and scare them off.
At least 3 times a week I will randomly say you look at least 10 years younger than you are.
Upon request I can leave things on the counter or get a stereo and play music too loud so you can give me shit.
It’ll be like the kids never left home.
In short, if you live with me all your wildest dreams will come true!
Is that true? Probably not, but I’ll help with the bills and you won’t be as bored.
What I’m looking for:
1 room with a decent bed
Wifi (if you don’t have wifi I will get us wifi)
Preferably furnished, I just work here so the less stuff I have to buy the better.
Ideally a place in or close to Bonnyville
If you have a dog that would be amazing I’ll love the hell out of it and ask it who’s a good boy/girl constantly
If you had a place with a big enough yard I could bring my big truck home that would be awesome but I realize it’s a tall order.
I’m also interested in furnished single person dwellings I know there is a few around and probably most likely what I’ll do.
Thought I would try this first though as I’ve spent the last 2 years living in my truck away from my wife and dogs for up to a month at a time so honestly wouldn’t mind roommates and having one of those social lives I hear people talk about.
Sorry for the crazy long post but if we’re gonna be friends and live together you probably wanna know a bit about me first.
I made it funny cause I don’t care about age, race, gender, sexual orientation, or relationship status but you absolutely must have a sense of humour.
If you read this and think I’d be a good roommate, or maybe you just wanna go for a beer, add me on Facebook and let’s talk maybe meet up and see if we don’t hate each other.
I’ll be looking to get a place early to mid July so gives us time to get to know each other. I couldn’t just move in with a total stranger I don’t think.
Budget basically depends on what’s all offered. Obviously looking for as cheap as possible but if it’s a place I can bring my rig home or has a shop I can do small repairs in then of course I’d be willing to pay more for that.
Anyway thanks for taking the time to read my post. So far in the year I’ve been in the Bonnyville region it seems like a really friendly town. Hope to hear from and maybe meet some kickass people.
